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Not Everyone Deserves a Trophy -- by, Chris Coltran

Every time you turn around, someone is trying to make life more fair.  Trying to make sure that there are only winners and no losers.  Life isn't fair. There will always be winners and there will always be losers. Period.  What would be the point of a competition if everyone always won?  If everyone always took first place? If everyone got a blue ribbon? If everyone got a trophy?  If everyone won a gold medal?  That's not life. That's fantasy land. Since when did everyone get a raise?  Since when did everyone get that promotion?  Since when did everybody get their dream job? Since when did every entrepreneur have success?  That is just not the way life is.  I defined success in my first book as, “Running from failure to failure with a smile on your face.”

Both of my boys have played youth sports since they were 5 years old.  They first started playing baseball. There were two leagues that we could have played in. One was a noncompetitive league, where they didn't keep score. There were no winners and no losers. In this league everyone was a winner.  There were no strikeouts, and everyone got to hit in each inning. As soon as each kid was done hitting, the other team got their turn. There were no outs.  For some parents who didn’t like competition, this was perfect.  They wouldn't have to teach their kids about winning and losing. I'm sure these are the same type of parents who have petitioned schools all over the country to get rid of dodgeball. Probably the same parents who are against schools having an honor roll too. They don't think it's fair that some kids get recognized as being smart, and other kids are labeled as being dumb.  They want every kid to get a participant ribbon or a trophy.  They want everyone to win!

The baseball league we chose to play in was a recreational, competitive league.  Now remember, the kids are only five, so they did let them have six strikes before it was considered an out.  The first four strikes are balls that were pitched by the coach. If they missed the first four, then the coach set up a T for the kids to hit from.  They had two more swings at the ball from the T. If they missed those, it was a strikeout. It was never any fun to see a five-year-old strikeout, but it did happen. They weren't scarred for life. Sure they were upset for a few minutes, but before you know it they forgot all about.  When the team made three outs in the field, the inning was over.  They did limit the amount of runs scored in an inning.  At the end of the game, there was a winner and a loser.  Most times it was more upsetting to the parents whether their kids won or lost than it was to the kids themselves.  As my boys have grown older and started playing other sports like football and lacrosse, winning has become more important.

Winning and losing is a part of life. The sooner kids learn that they're not going to win at everything they do, the much more prepared they will be for life. Parents want to protect their children, and as a parent, I completely understand. But protecting your children is not the same as sheltering them. I want to protect my children. I want to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to them. I want to make sure they make the right friends, that they get good grades, and that they treat their friends with respect.  What parent wouldn't want that?  But when it comes to sports, they have to know that there are going to be winners and losers. Every time they play a game they need to know that they might not win. Some kids have a hard time losing. Especially when they start playing with friends as they get older. By their parents always allowing them to win, they can't handle losing.  These kids grow up being very sore losers. They grow up with a false sense of reality.  They grow up thinking they are always going to be a winner.  I don't completely blame the kid. I blame the parents. I blame the system.

I enjoy watching the Olympics every other year with my family. Whether it is the winter or the summer games, my family gathers around the television throughout the games to watch the competitions.  The Olympics is the ultimate sports competition.  As athletes from around the world compete against each other to see who becomes an Olympic champion, it doesn't get any better than that. Each athlete has an incredible story of perseverance.  They have all had challenges in their life they have had to overcome to become an Olympic athlete.  The years of sacrifice, training, and blood sweat and tears to make it to the Olympic stage is an awesome feat in itself. If there was ever a time that everyone deserved a medal, it would be the Olympics. But everyone knows they only give out one gold, one silver, and one bronze for each event. There is only one national anthem played at a medal ceremony. Thank goodness those parents, who think that all children deserve a trophy, aren’t on the Olympic competition committee. If everyone got a medal, what would be the point?  The drama and the excitement would be gone.  The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat would not exist.

I have found that the only way to get better at anything is to make sure you compete against good competition.  If you always take 1st place, you will not challenge yourself.  You won’t push yourself.  You won’t put in the practice or the effort needed to get better.  If you always landed every job you have ever interviewed for, you are not challenging yourself.  You are applying for jobs below your expertise.  You need competition.  You don’t learn much taking first place.  When everyone is behind you, you aren’t forcing yourself to improve.  When you get beat, and don’t finish on the top of the podium, you learn.  When you are chasing someone from behind, you learn to get better.  You learn to get faster.  You learn to get smarter.  If you always win, you get complacent.  You get comfortable.  It is only when someone beats you that you get better.  


Competition needs winners and losers.  It is natural.  It is the way life is.  It is the way life has always been.  It is the way life will always be.  The sooner people learn this concept, the better off they will be prepared for the journey of life.  If you succeed at everything you do in life, you are not trying hard enough.  You are not stepping outside of your comfort zone far enough.  Get out there and fail.  Make sure you fail in the right direction.  Learn from your failures and become stronger from them.  If you fail enough, you will probably win a few trophies along the way.

Chris Coltran is based in Acworth, GA. He is the author of the book, “Selling To Your Grandmother,” and President of C2 Unlimited. He has worked in manufacturing, distribution, wholesale, and retail, as well as being a sales and marketing consultant to various companies. Chris is a motivational speaker, having spoken to various groups in the floor covering, furniture, automotive, and service industries. He is also an entrepreneur helping other entrepreneurs become successful. For more information or to contact Chris, he can be found on the web at: www.chriscoltran.com and via email at: chris@chriscoltran.com
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